CREEPY: Why did she buy cheese-free pizza only to put cheese on it herself?! Even I know that doesn't make much sense!
FATTY: Poor girl...she's convinced cheese is bad for her but can't stop eating it. Earlier I caught her staring at a block of cheddar and silently whimpering. I'm worried she may do something drastic.
CREEPY: Like what...kill herself over cheese?! Please don't tell me it's going to be as drastic as "The Great Diet Coke Weening of 2006." That was brutal on us all!!!
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